Let's Call It Like It Is
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
"Now seating Annoying, party of one!" ~Clint
So *that's* why I wake up late!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
"I have NO respect for my alarm clock!" ~Steve
Something You Say to Make Everyone Feel Awkward
Monday, September 08, 2008
"You're deflowered already, Kat?" ~R. pointing out to everyone that I had changed out of my Mexican dress
This won't hold up in a court of law
Saturday, June 07, 2008
"I punched a 12-year old kid today at church. But I didn't drop him!" ~Kat, trying to rationalize her style of "discipline"
Ah, motherhood...?
Friday, April 25, 2008
"Look at that little girl! She's beautiful! It makes my ovaries hurt." ~Lennox, a man expressing his maternal instincts...?
The New Mantra
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
"Social time is AWESOME time!" ~Sean, encouraging us all to hang out after Bible study.
Mixed Up Analogy
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
"Adultery is for bicyclists!" ~M getting mixed up while using the analogy of traffic laws to explain the Ten Commandments
Rambo and Theology, Together at Last
Monday, February 11, 2008
R: "I afraid the new Rambo movie is going to be theologically pernicious." Everyone else: "Huh?!?"
Retro? Or OLD?
Monday, January 21, 2008
"Wow! Your iPod is so FAT! That's so cool! Your iPod it totally RETRO!" ~my 12-year-old cousin
The Spray Stuff is Really Bad for You
Monday, May 14, 2007
"When I use the computer spray cleaner stuff, it's like little particles are sticking to my areolas." ~man trying to find the word alveoli, the small air-containing compartments of the lungs
Was it *that* funny?
Friday, May 04, 2007
"I used to be so funny. What happened?" ~my narcissistic comment after looking through my old blog posts
Things would be so much better if...
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
"Why don't *I* rule the world?" ~Suz, insisting that the billiards term "English" would sound better as "puttin' a little sumpin' sumpin on it'"
Are you *sure* you want to advertise that?
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
"Mine's teeny-weeny." ~male cow-orker
Shouldn't this be the other way around?
Monday, March 26, 2007
"Don't make an Asian girl teach you how to do '3 snaps in a Z formation!'" ~me to african-american female friend
Aren't you a bit young?
Thursday, February 01, 2007
"I think i lost my mojo!" ~9-year old boy about not having girlfriend
Emasculating
Thursday, January 11, 2007
"I made my boyfriend dress up as a cookie for Halloween. It was kind of emasculating, but i don't think he realized it...cuz he's FRENCH." ~girl in Cookie Monster costume
Charlie Brown sang it best
Monday, December 18, 2006
"Christmas time is here..." ~Charlie Brown
Some girls are crazy
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Txt Msg: "If fat man grab u and stuff u in sack, it ok. I asked Santa for you for Christmas." ~crazy girl to guy with whom she had only 1 date
Gravity is not your friend
Sunday, October 29, 2006
"Gravity was the enemy of her face. It was kind of like the mask in the movie Scream." ~astute observer
It's a miracle!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
"Just the fact that you ate ALL of that and are still thin lets me know that there IS a God." ~Connell, Miss Peach Soul Food Restaurant Owner/Cook
It's not ok to accost me
Thursday, October 05, 2006
"Understandable, but unacceptable." ~man referring to woman who almost mauled him in excitement
The Truth
Friday, August 18, 2006
"Really most people out there are actually ugly." ~observant man
The real you
Saturday, May 06, 2006
"You look different today. You're not wearing makeup. I don't like you like this." ~12 year old girl to me
Giving Directions
Sunday, April 09, 2006
"We were so lost! And she didn't help either! It was the blond leading the blond!" ~Lost woman about direction giver
Building muscles
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
"I want him to bulk up. Put that testosterone to work. He's bald and hairy so i know he's got it!"
The Crux of a Relationship
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
"It's not that I don't trust...but I don't." Kat to Slim, while working on Sudoku puzzle
Not a sample sale
Monday, January 23, 2006
"You're going to take my blood? I should charage you for that! ~my dad on Adavan to nurse taking blood
Heard on the streets of NYC
Thursday, January 05, 2006
"I won't buy you food, but I've got some weed. Why don't you get high?" ~Man in the village to homeless person
Festivus
Sunday, December 18, 2005
"Nothing says Christmas like dead rabbits!"~kat commenting about her festivus red rabbit scarf.
Poker: What's really on the line
Saturday, December 03, 2005
"I want your poker chips AND your love. But i'm married and you're dating Nathan, so i'll have to settle for your chips." ~JT
A new standard of education
Monday, November 21, 2005
"The classroom should be ruled with an iron fist, like Stalin!"~Billy, substitute teacher
To sum it up
Monday, November 14, 2005
"Progressive taxes are absolutely unfair. But they're RIGHT." ~JT taking a stand.
Bigger not more
Sunday, October 30, 2005
"The idea is BIGGER, not MORE." ~mother to young daughter carrying water balloons in front part of swimsuit
Awesome Adventist Pickup Line
Thursday, October 27, 2005
"I'm just calling to wish you a happy Sabbath. I hope you've having a blessed week!"~SDA boy to incredulous SDA girl
confused?
Sunday, September 18, 2005
"I'm drowning in your stream of consciousness!" ~Kirstin
Fuzzy Wuzzy
Monday, August 22, 2005
"I want to wax your arms and take it home with me so it can be my fuzzy!" 14-year-old girl to hairy man
The Solution
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
"Get a bike." ~Susan, not being sympathetic about me missing my car
The problem with pigeons
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
"The pigeon has no respect."~Discovery Channel's Mike Rowe of the show Dirty Jobs
Worst pick-up line EVER
Thursday, August 04, 2005
"Hey, check ME out." ~21-year old boy who thought my co-worker was 16 and not 24
My money making sceme
Saturday, July 30, 2005
"If i could make babies that were pretty enough to be child stars, i'd start breeding them." ~me, reflecting on the short but lucrative careers of pop tarts like Britney and Lindsay Lohan
What Fruit are You?
Thursday, July 14, 2005
"So I was thinking that maybe you could be a durian..." ~dad, after reading the "coconut" post
Don't trust 'em
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
"I don't trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die." ~man talking about women
Really, it's your disposition
Sunday, June 26, 2005
"You're definitely from New York. I can tell. It's your...(meaningful pause)...disposition." ~Random dude to K regarding her authentic New York attitude
A little late...
Monday, June 06, 2005
"It's about time summer showed up!" ~kat complaining about seasons in NYC
Edgy
Thursday, May 19, 2005
"I like teasing white people. They take it so seriously, like they need to explain everything they do. It makes me feel black." ~Rina E (a person of the yellow persuasion)
Going to Thailand
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
"Are you going there to adopt a child?" ~Heather asking J & E about their trip to Thailand.
Hungry?
Saturday, April 30, 2005
"It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you come home for dinner." ~Nathan Q.
Testing--breaking in Firefox!
Friday, April 22, 2005
"My site is breaking in Firefox and i want to know why!" ~kat
Memorable quote of 3rd annual unTalent show
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
"Here comes the pain!" ~ Johnny (in his performance at the LLJC Untalent Show 2005 as he attempts a forward roll...only to land solidly on the flat of his head. Ouch!)
Time warp
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
"Isn't it great how all asian countries are now like America in the '80s?" ~Slim
Das Boot
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
"The boot is the most demoralizing of all civic instruments." ~Nate
Bawling Over Boston Legal
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
"Sometimes the best way to be a hero is to show that you're afraid, to show that you're human." ~James Spader from Boston Legal
windfall
Friday, March 04, 2005
"Beneath those layers of nasal congestion, he's really a very sweet guy!" ~J/K
Embarrassing moment
Monday, February 07, 2005
Jose Rojas the guitarist points at my obviously guitar-shaped case: "Hey, whatcha got in there?" Me: "...?...a guitar..." (awkward silence as he stares at me) Jose: "No, i mean what KIND of guitar you got?"
Don't wanna! Ain't gonna! ...Oops. I did it.
Monday, January 31, 2005
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." ~Romans 7:15
The Theme of Today Is Trials!
Thursday, January 20, 2005
“(2) Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, (3) because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance…(12) Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” ~James 1:2-3, 12 (NIV)
Best Line To Woo A Woman
Saturday, December 18, 2004
"In a couple ways, you're quite superior to my cocker spaniel!" Danny Kaye to Vera-Ellen in the classic movie "White Christmas" (1954)
How To Make Your Friend Look Desperate
Friday, December 17, 2004
"Just tell him that my friend would really appreciate it if he asked her out...what i meant was...doh..." Kathy, trying to convince friend A to ask get her friend to ask out friend B, but unintentially making friend B look *totally* desperate in the process.
Russell Peters, the Indian Canadian comedian is in town!
Thursday, December 09, 2004
"It's ok,...all that matters is that he's near." Slim responding to the fact that he was unable to go to see Russell Peters live.
From Sex & the City
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
"Would you like a hankie for that?" ~husband to Charlotte
Voting Blues
Thursday, November 25, 2004
"Don't blame me. I voted for Kang." ~citizen of Springfield
The Olson Twins are hot...why?
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
"It's like the girl next door, but there's 2 of them! ...AND they look like trolls." ~k (Talking about why the Olson Twins are considered so hot these days)
Flee To France
Thursday, November 04, 2004
"After yesterday [election day], I'm planning on leaving the country. Want to join me in France?" ~Tanya
Thriller Was Good For Something
Friday, October 22, 2004
"Thriller was so popular because they made the dance easy enough for even white people to learn it!" ~J. (talking about the Thriller dance sequence in "Thirteen Going on Thirty")
A New Slant on Lying
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
"It's not lying...it's 'simulating reality.'" ~B. Jones (about giving clients media applications specifically to fake the real thing)
Conan Harrasses Audience Member
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
"Who wants to see this guy in the audience hug the drummer? YEAH!! How about have him hug that other guy in the audience? YEAAAH!" ~Conan O'Brien at a taping on Oct. 8.
Oct. 1, 2004
Friday, October 01, 2004
"I felt dirty but i kind of liked it!" ~Albert (in response to teasing regarding getting cat calls on the streets)