:: The Rants ::
What's in this section?
Ever just wanted to vent? Well here's were *I* get to do it.
Traffic: the new weather
Sunday, April 30, 2006
What do people small talk about in a place where the weather in generally good?
Having just recently moved to LA, traffic has taken on a whole new meaning. It is not merely a phenomenon that takes place on the freeways, but rather a way of life. It rules what you will do and when, how grumpy you are that day, and how much cramping you will have in your lower extremities.
Having now been through 2 weeks of training at my new job, I found that the one thing that everyone talked about was the traffic. “Where did YOU come from?” “Oh I hear the traffic is terrible coming from that area!” “I spent three hours in the car this morning. I had to leave at 5 am!” This is the likely conversation during our breaks. Hey, it sure beats talking about the weather. It always comes down to comparing how bad your commute is compared to the other person’s. It ends when everyone grumbles that their commute is just too awful and why do we have to drive so far.
Probably the most “LA” thing to happen recently is that there was horrible traffic last Thursday. It prevented many people from actually making it to work at all. What happened, you ask? Well there were two things. The first was a huge big rig accident that took out 3 of the 4 lanes on the 5 freeway. Everything was covered with gravel. Not good. The other thing was a shooting and pursuit at the junction of the 405 and 110 freeways (or something like that). How LA is that? It’s very much like Steve Martin’s movie, “LA Story.”
“Why were you late for work?”
“Shooting on the freeway.”
“Oh not again. Ok, just make a note on your timesheet.”
Apparently it closed down both sides of the freeway and people were stuck for a very long time. And the funny part was everyone who mentioned it to me said it in a matter-of-fact sort of way that made it seem completely normal and usual. “What a bother. People shooting on the freeway again? There should be a law about not starting high speed chases or shooting people during rush hour.”
Luckily i have moved close to work and do not have to deal with that much traffic. Phew! I don’t think i would have survived the 2 hour commute i was doing before. Well, that’s the report from LA today! Over and out!
The songs we love to hate
Saturday, March 18, 2006
I had a good laugh with Alex today over songs that you just can’t believe people actually made.
Although we know that music, especially pop music, has taken on such topics as love, loss, and anger, songs are addressing more topics like drugs, sex, abuse, depression and regret. Some songs get pretty darn raw with their lyrics. Some genres do this more than others. Now, I like hip-hop just as much as (well, probably more) than the average joe, but something has got to be said about the lyrics. But rather than rant about it, I thought I’d just give you some excerpts from the latest “songs you love to hate.”
Song 1 - “I’m In Love With a Stripper” by T-PAIN
Out of all the girls she be the hottest
Like n the way she break it down i see u girl
Spinnin wide
And She lookin at me
Right in my eyes
She poppin she rollin she rollin
She climbin that pole and
Im N Luv with a stripper
Song 2 - “WHISPER IN YA EAR” by the Ying Yang Twins
Hey how ya doing lil momma let me whisper in ya ear
Tell ya something that ya might like to hear
Got a sexy *** body and yo *** look soft
Mind if I touch it and see if it’s soft?
Naw I’m just playin less you say I can
And I’m known to be a real nasty man
And they say a closed mouth don’t give in
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:
Song 3 - “Ms New Booty” by BUBBA SPARXXX
Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin’ everywhere [3x]
Rockin’ everywhere [2x]
(I think that’s enough to make my point.)
... 
All i can say is WHO WRITES THIS STUFF? I mean, it’s totally offensive, but it’s also totally hilarious! I can just imagine this song writer coming into the studio with some sheet music, handing it to the artists and saying, “So this one is a really sensitive song about falling in love with a stripper because her pole dance was that good.” Really now, we need to at least TRY to be a little more artistic and kosher. And tons of kids listen to this and think, “So this is the way things should be. Perhaps I too should go to a strip club to find my true love.”
But I will guiltily admit that i have had “BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN EVERYWHERE!” stuck in my head all weekend. 
Things i will NOT miss in New York
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
I could do without “homeless” people on the subway asking for money.
Honestly, it’s not the fact that they’re asking for money or help, but that working the subways are all they do to “get help.” Yesterday we ran into the angry man who works the 1 train. Jannine, Nathan and I had just come up from a lovely meal at Bouley, a beautiful, fancy restaurant in Tribeca. At the end of the meal, they had given all the women loaves of bread from their famous bakery next door called Danube. So when crazy angry man got on and starting screaming for donations to help him, we were not empty handed.
He started screaming about needing money to help him get off of welfare or something like that. In the past, he’s used the idea of collecting donations via an actual organization to help the homeless. But not this time. After he realized that no one was going to give him money, he started saying, “anything you can give will help. Food, money,...” So i gave him my bread. He took it, looked in the bag, and went on.
Suddenly his face contorted with anger, and he bag screaming at all of us in the car in earnest. “You guys all suck! Christians suck d***! I hate God! God doesn’t exist!” Then he took the bread and threw it *hard* against the subway door, nearly hitting several passengers. “I ask for food and you give me CANDY! I HATE YOU GUYS!” Of course this was sprinkled with a lot more expletives. He went and picked up the bread and smashed it in his hands, still screaming. Then he finally left. I yelled after him, “Wait, if you’re not going to eat the bread, i want it back!” Unfortunately he did no hear me.
So i will NOT be missing crazy people who ask for things and then get very angry when you give it to them. If you don’t want food, don ‘t ask for it. I have no sympathy at all for people who beg on subway cars. Especially commuter trains. Don’t you think we’ve seen you over and over again for the past years? We’re not impressed. And NO, i don’t believe that you’re trying to feed your two daughters. No i don’t believe that you just got help but you need a little to tide you over. And no, i’m NOT giving you money.
So long fake homeless people who try to scam us! I shall not miss you one bit!
The Color of My Face
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Late-breaking news! This just in from Sunday brunch!
I’m not exactly sure what i’m ranting about, to be honest. This story has so many things worth ranting about, but not in a self-righteous way. You’ll see once i tell you the story.
Jannine and i had brunch (well, more like lunch) today. In fact, i just got back. We went to Kitchenette uptown near Columbia. It’s a cute little cozy place that serves great comfort food. By cozy, i mean that it’s basically a long hallway with tables on either side with a narrow path between them. Being Sunday and for brunch/lunch, it was pretty crowded, and they were doing all they could to get as many people as possible in. That meant doubling up at tables. We were seated next to this older black couple who looked like they had just come from church.
Our hostess showed us to the seat, the gentleman stood up to let Jannine in to the inner seat of the four-person table, she said thank you, and then we all sat down. We continued to talk, but i noticed that the couple said nothing to each other. I thought it was strange, but chocked it up to being married for many years and being able to eat in silence together. Our waiter came and put down some waters for which we thanked him, and we continued to browse the menu.
Not long after the waiter left, the gentleman next to Jannine turned to us and preambled, “I want to start a dialogue with you two because you look like bright young women, and there is something I would like to say to you.” We both looked up surprised. Ok. Sure. What could he possibly have to say to us?
“When that young white boy brought you water, you said ‘thank you,’ but when you first came to sit at this table, i stood up and like a gentleman, let you take your seat, but you did not thank me. I feel affronted. Do i have to change the color of my face to get a show of gratitude? Is my service not worth as much to you as that white man’s?”
We both sat there staring at him, mouths agape with blank stares on our faces. What? It was the first time that anyone had directly confronted me about being racist, a term that i had hoped was the last thing you’d ever use to describe me. Yet here was this gentleman, obviously disturbed and upset by the fact that we did not show gratitude. The funny thing is, Jannine DID say thank you. It was just so noisy that he must not have heard.
We both apologized profusely, stating that it was not due to any racial discrimination but rather an oversight and perhaps rudeness for not saying thank you to begin with. We promised him that it was not intentional and that we would be more attuned to such things in the future. He accepted our apology graciously, and we continued our separate meals with a slight tension hanging over our heads. Yet his frustration/anger was palpable. You could stick out your tongue and taste it. (”...hmm, a tinge of bitter with some spice. Yup, it’s anger and frustration!")
So what am i ranting about?
Why did he automatically assume that it was a racial thing? I can see that it might have been reacting to our supposed rudeness, but what a lifetime of pain he must have experienced in order to jump to that conclusion that everyone sees things through the lenses of race.
What must it have been like to live his life and see the things that he has seen? I can’t assume anything, but being an older gentleman, i’m sure he’s lived through times that were not as friendly towards black people. I’m not saying things are ideal now, but in a lot of ways, the younger generations are less inclined to see things strictly by race (though far be it from me to say that racism is eradicated).
What presumption he had to assume that as Asian people that we would automatically prefer white people over black people. He was stereotyping us just as much as he thought we were stereotyping him! It’s as if he thought that our minority groups had no bad experiences with America, not to mention building a couple railroads in horrible conditions or being sent to work camps during World War II. I’m not saying it’s as long a history as blacks/slavery in the U.S., but it’s certainly not a glowing past of harmonious relationships.
This whole situation just made me feel sad and hurt for his emotional wounds. I appreciated that he was willing to say something and say it politely, and that he accepted our apology. I hope he understood that we were sincere. Still i wish he had never seen it that way to begin with.
I guess all i can do is pray that God heals the wounds of his past experiences and not take his accusation personally.
Woman vs. Roach: A New York Story
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Prepare thyself, gentle readers! For this post is not for the weak of heart!
I was just about to take my shower, when i pulled back the shower curtain, and THERE IT WAS, lying in wait for me!! (Psycho theme playing)
I stifled a scream, and all i could feel was intense nauseau as IT wiggled it’s antennas at me. (shudder) A ROACH!!!!
Not knowing what to do, i darted behind the curtain and took a minute to observe my enemy. Glossy and huge, the insect obviously knew no fear. Instead of scuttling away to the depths of hell from wence it came, it glared and me, yea it even took several steps TOWARD ME! Sensation returned to my fingers and my legs were once again able to move. (chase music ensues!) I ran to the shoe rack and found my weapon of choice: chunky healed Steve Madden loafers. Madden has always been good to me, and now he would serve me well!
I crept back to the bathroom, weapon in hand. Had he fled? NO. There he was, brazen as ever, holding his ground in the tub as if to say, “Come on, I DARE you to hit me with that shoe! I’ll survive! MWAHAHAHAHA!” My hand shaking, i put together my strategy. But before i could fully form my plans, he was crawling up the shower curtain to attack first! (LOTR orc horde attacking music)
In a panic i flipped the curtain away from me, sending the roach flying back into the tub. Before i had a chance to be afraid, I brought my mighty weapon down upon his doomed brow! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! and an extra THWACK! for good measure!
(music transitions to triumphant swell)
There I stood, triumphant over the corpse of my fallen foe. I had conquered! Vanquished my enemy. And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...well, you get the idea. (The worst part was definitely cleaning up my fallen foe. Ew!)
...
If only that were the end of the saga. Since that time, we have seen yea unto SIX foul beasties. They have all met their untimely demise whether it be by the Mighty Heel of Madden or by the vacuum cleaner, which hath no great appellation. And the exterminator seems to have something against us and manages to sneak in and out of the building while we wait for his visit.
AND SO THE WAR WAGES ON! DEATH UNTO MURDEROUS COCKROACH SPAWN FROM HELL!
Click on the image to behold, if you dare, the body of one of the slain foe (with nickel next to it for scale). Not as big as the one that was told of in the stories of yore (above), but gruesome nonetheless!
I can't get no privacy!
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Random people just keep showing up at my windows!
You’d think that on the 18th floor of a 32-story building, i wouldn’t have to worry about people looking directly into my windows! (There’s always the issue of people from other buildings using binoculars, but that’s an altogether different case.) Strangely, it IS a problem. Just last week, I had a heart-stopping moment. I was in my robe, ironing my clothes for before church, my ironing board set up near the only open plug by the window in the living room. I was fully covered (thankfully), but still, it’s not how i would go out to a lobby to greet guests or anything. Suddenly i heard a sound outside. I looked up only to come face to face with two guys on a platform outside my window!
I nearly jumped out of my skin. Luckily, that didn’t affect my robe, as i clutched at it to make sure I wasn’t indecent in any way. So they went to work painting the window sills or whatever and I tried to keep my composure and look them in the face as i kept ironing. I lost my nerve about 5 seconds into it. I just couldn’t get over the idea of someone looking into my private life, even if my private life consists of something as boring as ironing.
The thing is, couldn’t they have announced to the building that there would be random dudes looking into our windows? I mean, the cables were up for about a week and NO ONE was out there! I mean, on the first day if there are cables, you expect something to happen. A week into it, you get a little surprised when someone is leering at you from outside your window.
This morning again, they’re outside my bedroom window. I can’t even work in here when they’re outside. I can still hear them, but luckily they’re done with my floor.
And yesterday, i heard the doorbell ring, but i was once again in my robe as i had just gotten out of the shower. I hesitated, but before i could even open the door, the door opened anyway! One of the maintenance guys was there checking the keys to see whether he had both our top bolt and bottom bolt. I know he didn’t expect anyone to be home, but still, it just creeps me out that people come barging into your apartment (or look through your windows) without much notice.
If only i had the power of invisibility, that would fix everything…