Super size them please
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Disclaimer: If you are offended by the word “breast,” please do not read any further. Thank you.
I ask this only because if this is the case, you are about to be seriously offended because that is the topic of this post. Not just breast, but removable breasts.
The big thing right now (heheh no pun intended) is for women to get breast enlargements. I personally have a lot of issues with body augmentations, but that will have to be in The Rants section of this site. For now, we will focus on my BRILLIANT idea to solve the issue of breast size. You see, having large breasts is not always a good thing. Often it causes back pains and other physical maladies such as difficulty in movement (such as running and other exercises). That is simply not comfortable or convenient. My solution is to have Adjustable Breasts™. That’s right. Wouldn’t it be great if you had sets of different sized breast to choose from so that you can find the appropriate size for the each occassion?
Let’s say you have a certain outfit that could really benefit from having a fuller figure. Just slap on the D cups for that day or for that outting. But you want to go work out first. Running is a breeze when you can put on your AA cups! Or maybe for that backless dress that you can’t wear a bra with, you can choose a nice B.
I believe that this is the future of body augmentation. I don’t think it’s a healthy idea, but i think it’s a brilliant idea. If people can convince you that putting bags of silicon in your body is a good idea, it’s a short leap to my idea adjustable breast. If only we could find some way to actually attach them...I don’t think velcro will work so well. I’m not worried--i’ll just leave that for the scientists to figure out. I’m sure there’s a way. I just want to remind you that you read it here first.
GENIUS!!
Funny you should suggest that. The last slide of this slide show is a patent for an adjustable implant (works like a bellows), so that women can control their breast size. Crazy, huh?
(I can’t believe you changed your email. An era has ended.)
Posted by on 04/14 at 09:53 AMYou can still email me at , it’s just that it’s not my MAIN thingy now. :D
Posted by on 04/14 at 07:07 PMHate to say this, but isn’t this something similar to what Victoria Secret and Nubra is doing? Just slap on some “life-like” material and have bigger stuff. I guess that wouldn’t work if you were just naturally more endowed. Still, the stuff Kirstin showed is pretty amazing.
If you really want to hear an “intellectual’s” view on this subject, I recommend the audio commentary of Terminator 3 with Arnold. Boy can this guy just babble. For those of you blessed enough not to have watched this, there is a scene where the evil female terminator automatically inflates her breasts to distract a cop that has pulled her over. Arnold goes on for what seems likes minutes about “how great would that be if a woman can just choose her own breast size”. . .blah blah blah. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad idea, it just sounds really bad coming out of my Governator’s mouth.
BTW, I heard this on the radio, so it’s not like I ACTUALLY sat down to hear Arnold ramble on about breasts, although it was pretty funny!
Anyways, my 2 cents. ;)
Kenny
Posted by on 04/14 at 10:45 PMdude no. I leave the state for one year, and it all goes to pot. Who elected him?!!! I want to cry.
(But with the bellows boobs, it WOULD be cool if little gurgling sounds happened when you filled them or expelled the fluid from them. But wouldn’t your skin sag in the “contracted” phase?)
Posted by on 04/15 at 12:44 PMHey, Kathy; first time actually posting a comment.
Interesting slide show on Slate; but those early designs clearly have a lot of flaws, and need to be, er, tweaked. Scientists have been groping in the dark for decades now, trying to balance the need for visual and tactile realism. The “bellows"-powered concept may fool the eye from a distance (especially since untreated near-sightedness was rampant), but little else.I’m sure that scientists are looking into an adjustable implant. You would kinda have a “Reebok pump” mechanism installed, with a little valve tucked away somewhere else on the body, out of sight. I’m sure we’ll see this in the next ten years or so.
Posted by on 04/18 at 07:26 AMNote: the bellows boobs was patented April 5, 2005. It’s a new thing. and I wince just thinking about it. Invented by a Georgian!
Posted by on 04/18 at 10:16 AM