Maturation
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Sometimes we have to grow up, even against our will.
Ever since I got back from New York, life has been anything but easy. My dad has been in the hospital, my uncle is dying in Japan, I have all kinds of insecurities about finding employment, and all of my relationships must be settled into the new order of things. Two nights ago, my dad finally returned home from the hospital. This is a world of relief for all of us. He can eat normal food, watch his Singaporian and Korean dramas on the gigantic TV downstairs, and no more IV drips. So for all of you who were praying for my dad, thank you so much! He and all of us have really appreciated the support of friends!
Taking care of my dad has meant a forced maturation process for me. Well, it’s about time anyway, but it’s still a shock when it happens. 
I’m not the type to cook very well, or clean more than i have to, or be the one to turn down social engagements to stay at home. It’s been a real exercise in restraint to not just hang out with people whenever i want to. While this may sound sad, it’s actually quite amazing to me. I think most of my life, especially being the youngest child, I have been selfish. That’s right, i said it: SELFISH. While in general, i can be pretty giving, ultimately it comes down to what I want. So the lesson of the day is how to really think about others first. If you can’t think about your own parents in that way, the ones who have sacrificed most of their life and earning for you, then maybe that’s a good place to start practicing.
So here I am, playing the good child for once in my life. It’s tough. I wonder how my brother, the first born male child, has handled it all his life. Maybe i’ll be a better person for this. Maybe i’ll even learn how to cook! hahaha Don’t get your hopes up. Chances are slim that such a thing will ever happen. For all of you who have ever had a similar experience with rapid growth, I would love to hear your stories. Until the next time i write, good night and good luck.
I’m so proud of you! Give yourself some credit, and take it from me, lean on others. You’ve got friends--use them. I’ll keep praying for you, my friend!
Posted by on 02/05 at 08:45 PM