My dad, the other white meat
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
You are now required to run from him screaming, “Unclean! Unclean!”
As part of the wound healing process, the Wound Clinic at Kaiser Permanente has decided to use what is known as an Oasis. Before you get ideas of water and lush greens in the middle of the desert (or maybe it’s in the dessert...mmmmmmm) 
, think again! The Oasis, in this case, is PIGGY!
Since my dad has a large wound that needs to be completely covered in skin, they wound care nurse applied a thin layer of genetically engineered fetal pig collagen. This acts as an infrastructure on which the growing epithelium can attach itself. He’s taken to the pig so much that I’ve actually caught him oinking to himself as he wanders around the house. Thanks to this interesting use of science, my dad’s wounds are healing at a speedy rate! So speedy, in fact, that he is afraid of having to return to work! To avoid that situation, all he has to do is convince those he works with that he really deserved that Off Work Order from his doctor.
Today, we went to the school where he teaches to turn in some paperwork for his retirement. We parked far away so no one would see him. I walked into the office and turned in the papers, assuring the administrator that, though he sounds much better on the phone, his is still *very* sick and shouldn’t be at work. She looked quite concerned, and I thanked her for her time and left. First stop went flawlessy.
The second stop was at the district payroll office that required my dad to come in person to do some paperwork. After wandering around for a long time, getting lost and driving wrecklessly to and fro, we finally arrived at the office. It was in the middle of NOWHERE. There was a lumber yard, some scary mobile homes, some stray probably rabid dogs and perhaps a fugitive murder or two, and then !voila! the office! As we walked around the glass building to the payroll office, two women came barrelling down the walkway towards us.
“MR. KHOO! What are you doing here? Everyone at work misses you so much!”
Ack! His cover was blown! Caught playing hooky by his cow-orkers who just *happened* to be there for in-service training. Of all the bad luck! It’s a good thing he was limping and looking at least a little ill. I think he was most concerned because he’s supposed to be out of work until the END OF MAY. Yeah, two and a half months from now. He’ll be healed WAY before that!
The good thing was that they were all really happy to see him, and he even got to see old friends from other districts. Despite the embarassment, it’s nice to see that the piggy on his wound is working really hard! OINK!