Subways - love 'em or don't get anywhere
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Even though i love the fact that you don’t have to drive anywhere to get to *anywhere* in NYC, i gotta say i have beef with the subway system.
A normal posting for the weekend
Let’s begin with the fact that NOTHING RUNS NORMALLY ON THE WEEKENDS. NEVER. I only have 2 trains that i can take from my apartment. One shuts down EVERY WEEKEND. I’m sorry to use so many caps, but *really* do we need to shut down every weekend?!? And they put a sign up every weekend to let you know that they’re shutting down. Again. As if it doesn’t happen every weekend. And hasn’t happened every weekend since i got here.
But besides that, some times trains just stop and the conductor yells, “Everyone get off! This train is going BACK uptown! Everyone get off now!”
And then there are those people that get on the train, knowing full well that they have a captive audience, and start with, “Ladies and gentlemen, i’m sorry to bother you, but _______ (fill in your own sad scenario here)...” Now that can also be annoying after awhile because you see the same people over and over again.
BUT the most disturbing experience thus far has to deal with safety (rather than convenience or irritation). Recently i got on the last car of the subway, going home after school. I was almost home when suddenly the train stopped in the middle of a tunnel. Then the sound of leaking gas began. That’s right, leaking gas, as if we were about to be part of some horrible terrorist plot to take out everyone heading to Harlem. At the same moment, this guy suddenly got upset at a random woman and started yelling at her. She looked bewildered; she had no idea why he was yelling at her. Others started getting into it - “Why are you mad at her?” In instant, everyone jumped to their feet...and ran to the end of the train car AWAY from the fight.
We are trapped at the end of the last car of the train while the fight continues. I looked out the back window and the NEXT TRAIN WAS COMING! I started freaking out right about now. Too many bad movies flashed through my head. Either we were going to be riddle full of holes by the thugs inside the car OR we were going to be run over by the train behind us because their brakes were rendered useless by some mishap or another.
For 10 minutes we sat there, trapped against the back wall, unable to escape to the next car because the fight was in the way. You know, i’m just building this all up to let you down. Eventually the train began to move. Everyone was so relieved! We sat uncomfortable in silence as the fight settled into muffled discontent. When the doors open, everyone *trampled* each other out the door.
The subway - love it or perhaps die in it. Just kidding. It’s safe here. Honest.
Wow, who needs World of Warcraft when you can just ride the subway for cheap thrills? Sounds pretty save. Having lived in Pakistan after nuclear test where conducted and living in Loma Linda in my friend’s Arabian tent house, safety is really relative. It’s not like your or my front door “protects” us from the aliens outside our houses. The only way to stay safe is to wear tin foil on your head, because then the beast can’t come out cause the sun hurts his eyes. SAFE? What about emergency evacuation procedures at 30,000 feet and airplane information cards provide the illusion of safety? It’s all right there on the cards, calm as Hindu cows.
Where was I? Oh, what if everyone died? I mean would the Internet still work or would bears take over our empty cities? Would cows ever learn to get over the cattle guards?
Truly the only thing that keeps us save is the invisible forces working in our world today.
I would this poster for give my post the fight club quote I was looking for.
Posted by on 10/26 at 02:12 PMI now interrupt this broadcast to gleefully offer angelic thanks (or gloating) for the general cleanliness, safety, courtesy and reliablity of Japanese subways. And in Osaka they’re not as evil-confusing as that mechakucha-ness in Tokyo. We now return to the regularly scheduled rant.
This interruption sponsored by by Osaka city municipal transportation bureau. We take the kusai out of “mendokusai”. **(insert jingle here)**
Posted by on 10/27 at 11:55 PM