"The stockings did me in!"
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
I really should add a section called “The Hall of Shame.”
Oh the stories that would fill that section!
Tonight’s story is very fresh in my mind because I JUST GOT BACK FROM IT. -__-
Let me just start with a little history. The nylon panythose has been my mortal enemy since the dawn of time. You can ask my mom. Oh, the things she went through to get me to wear them! I hated them with an unearthly hate. I mean, just listen to the word. “Paanteeeeee Hooooz.” Consequently, i have not worn them for the past, oh,...five years or so. It’s been a while.
So tonight, i got this great opportunity from NetAid to volunteer at one of their premier events called the NetAid Global Action Awards. Five kids would be honored, (MTV News’ SuChin Pak) would be there, AND my kids from the Global Citizen Corps from this summer’s summit would be there. On top of that, it would be held at Lincoln Center Jazz in the Allen Room. The venue is beautiful! Thanks to Gordon, i’ve actually been there before, but i still was looking forward to going there again.
I would be at the event as a volunteer usher. I got all gussied up in a cocktail dress (a remnant from my ballroom dance recitals) and heels that i borrowed from Jannine. And then i made the biggest mistake of the night. I put on pantyhose. I was feeling a little smug, seeing as how i had managed to conquer my hate/fear of the hose. And they actually looked good! Wow!
So i entered the hall where i would be ushering. Stairs. Lots and lots of stairs. I had been warned about them, but it hadn’t really been a big deal. All the volunteer ushers got together for orientation. The coordinator stressed to us, “Use the handrails. That stairs are slippery!” “Ha ha ha!” I laughed confidently to myself. “Surely nothing will happen to ME?!”
As we dispersed, i headed down the stairs. The media/coordinators were meeting on one of the landings. I had no access to a handrail, but i thought it was safe, so i went through the group. At that moment, my silky stocking slipped my heel out of my shoe. I stumbled and somehow caught both feet on a raised piece of grip tape on the edge of the stair. I’m not sure exactly how i fell, but as i pitched forward, completely without any hope of stopping, i thought to myself, “I really should have seen this one coming.”
Before i even had the chance to contemplate what my face would look like after hitting the floor with it, i felt many arms grab me and pull me up. The face of the woman in front of me went pale. “Oh my God, are you ok?” I was in such a state of trauma that all i could do was shakily state, “I’m not good in heels,” and continue down the steps as if nothing had happend.
I ran into some of the GCC kids who gasped, “You’re bleeding!” I was so embarrassed. Somehow falling never stops being embarassing. One of the boys said, “but you look great tonight. It’ll balance out!” Bless his heart. I hobbled to the bathroom and tore off the useless pantyhose which has lasted all of 15 minutes on my legs. They were just absorbing blood and making things messy anyway.
I spent the next hour or so holding a paper towel over it apply pressure. It also didn’t help that the bleeding knee was on the short side of the asymmetric hemline of my dress. I was tempted to turn my whole dress around and wear it backwards just to hide things. I will say this, it’s great for garnering pity. On the way home on the subway, two women offered me a band-aid. Luckyily, most people didn’t mention it and it was pretty low lighting, so maybe most people didn’t notice.
Yeah. Right.
So the motto for this post is, “JUST SAY NO TO PANTYHOSE!”
Sigh. . . that’s my sis! ;) We have to get you some training in a kung-fu place, just so that if this happens again, you can pull off some really cool Crouching Tiger Matrixish type of fall. Come to think of it, those falls always seem to go in bullet time, don’t they?
One thing is for sure, you really do know how to make an entrance and to create a lasting impression (on your knee!).
Posted by on 11/09 at 09:54 PMhahahha! i was laughing since, oh, the 5th paragraph (where you were warned but thought, oh, it won’t happen to you)
i think it speaks volumes for our optimism that despite the massive amount of stories that could fill this hall of shame, we both think it won’t happen to us (again) hahhaha… like we’re invincible =)
ps - remember the wood glue? that was another ‘we shoulda seen it coming’ moment =)
Posted by kimi =) on 11/09 at 11:46 PMhahaha oh man, that’s classic. sorry to be laughing at your pain.. no wait, no i’m not… hahaha.
good times.
Posted by Ryan Moore on 11/10 at 12:15 AMI always get a good laugh when I read your blog. Never a day without an adventure…
Posted by Dan Kim on 11/10 at 05:32 AMMy pain. Your joy.
That’s why my blog is here for you guys…
Posted by on 11/10 at 10:46 AMKathy, I laughed out loud enough times that the Ugandans in the computer lab all turned and stared. I LOVE YOU!!! No really, I do. I’m going to forward this to anyone who’s literate. Love, Kirstin
Posted by on 11/12 at 05:51 AM