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Happy VD!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Ah Valentine’s Day, the day of Obligatory Love!
Usually on this day, I greet people by saying, “Happy VD!” As you might guess, there is a bit of ire against this holiday. Whether you’re with someone special or not, this day has always irked me because it just becomes a big pissing contest between women, and men get caught up in the aftermath.
Woman 1: “What did *your* boyfriend do for you?”
Woman 2: “Oh he took me to Paris and bought me a new wardrobe and finished it off with a fabulous diamond ring!”
Woman 1: “Oh.”
Later, she yells at her boyfriend for the thoughtful gift he made her because it wasn’t made out of diamonds and wasn’t delivered to her in Paris.
I dunno, it just seems that the whole thing is so obligatory. So...NOT about love. And yet, you have to participate. No matter what. Because if you don’t participate because you’re taking a stance against the commercialism, well, you still kind of suck because someone is gonna end up getting hurt in that scenario, and it just might be you and your lower jaw after she hits you with a solid uppercut!
Wow, I think this is actually turning into a rant!
Anyway, I just wanted to inform all those who have adopted the “Happy VD” greeting that we are horribly horribly outdated! For some reason, I thought venereal disease was a specific kind of sexually transmitted disease, like herpes or something. But NO. I was an umbrella term used in the same was that STD is currently used! Thanks to my health educator friend, Cary, I’m now in the know!
But what the heck is a venereal anyway? Apparently the word “venereal” has something to do with love and specifically sexual love. Who knew? My best guess was that it had something to do with another “v” word that was located somewhere in the nether regions…
The bottom line is, if we wish to continue using this greeting, we’ll have to update it to “Happy STD!” which, while it may still be applicable on Valentine’s Day, does not have nearly the same impact or word-play fun as “Happy VD!”
You know what? I don’t care if I’m outdated! I think I’ll stick with VD. Won’t you?