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Josh the Poo Bazooka Gets a Cleanin' from Auntie Kat
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Would you believe that before today, I’ve NEVER changed a diaper before?
Yeah. Pretty amazing. I’ve managed to escape cleaning baby bottoms for 30 years. But now, with the advent of Josh, my time has come. My number was called. There was no escaping.
Luckily, it wasn’t what people keep calling a “blow out.” Doesn’t that just sound like tire trouble on the freeway? I think it was Dan who described one such blow out where it managed to escape the diaper and explode out all the way up the child’s back and into her hair.
...Like I said, I’m lucky Josh didn’t have a blow out. I think that would have stopped any future “bazooka cleaning” excursions.
Anyway, it wasn’t nearly as horrifying as expected. I’m not saying it wasn’t traumatic seeing stuff that looked vaguely like curried cottage cheese all up in the diaper, but there were thankfully many layers of “stuff” in between it and me: diaper, wipes, another diaper, latex gloves, goggles for eye protection (in case of said blow out), smock, rubber apron, those yellow full-body protection suits + helmets they had in the movie Outbreak… Yeah, I was ready!
So now I’ve officially wiped a baby’s bottom.
And boy do I feel accomplished.
Now why did people want me to do this so badly again?