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Experiment 2: Strengths Finder 2.0
Pirates Can't Parallel Park
Sunday, August 06, 2006
My scientific research confirms that this baffling statement is TRUE!
I first happened upon this strange event whlie in the park earlier today. Susan and I were enjoying the summer sun and reading when we noticed a peculiar sight: a pirate putting up decorations in the park. Yes, decorations. I had no idea that pirates had any inclination for design, but here he was, striped pants and all, hanging up flowers and foliage.
Soon after, other pirates began to appear on the scene. Despite popular notion, they did *not* arrive in ships. In fact, many of them arrives in Toyota Corollas. One by one, we watched as each pirate struggled to maneuver his/her vehicle into a parallel park position. Some took several tries. Some just parked badly. Some even got back into their already parked car to have one more go at it.
We watched in amusement at their parking antics, all the while trying to surmise the reason for their gathering. Could it be a pirate wedding? Were they trying to pillage and plunder the library next to the park? And is scurvy contagious? After congregating for a bit, the piratey feathered-hat wearing group BURST in to song! Lusty pirate voices and lusty pirate songs! Well, not that lusty, but how else do you describe it? How about, “Trying-to-be-lusty-but-not-drunk-enough-yet-because-it’s-only-2:30-in-the-afternoon Pirate Voices?”
We tried not to point and stare, but we failed miserably at that. We straight up ogled, like men entranced by a large-breasted woman’s low v-neck blouse. I mean, there were PIRATES! Small children in the park pointed and asked their parents, “Daddy, are those pirates?” and “Why are they here?”
At some point, one of the pirates approached us. “Come to our showing of Shakespeare’s Tempest in the park today at 5:30!” He continued to rattle on about the performance the other events, such as the children’s swordplay workshop and the lusty pirate singers under the tent.
Booo. It was so much more interesting when we thought that we were going to be able to encroach upon a pirate wedding. At least it made the afternoon very interesting! Maybe we’ll catch Shakespeare in the park next week when they do Taming of the Shrew.
Maybe by then, the pirates will have learned to parallel park.
